Sunday, June 7, 2009

Township time

So I taught a class yesterday...Poetry/Free Expression Class.
I used India Arie, Mya Angelou, Lauren Hill and Myself to convey how to share your story hurts and ways to deal with Anger...

I have done this kind of class a few times but this one here was so special...
I wish I could share the videos of the kids reading what they wrote...but Not in the states so I don't have High Speed....this is what I wrote while they spoke...and below are some of the kids poems and writings...
Pain
Scars, can they heal
Pain that I feel, will it ever go away…
So much pain, help me bare it

I again sit with those who are stronger than they know
They are strength and power, wisdom beyond their years
Can I wish it away can you take it away…
Can I erase what they have seen
Pain…
That they carry and shed no tears
And they trust in God in ways only they can explain
Raped by their fathers…
Losing their mother
Suffering from disease
Jesus Help them please
Pain…
Take it away…
Wash it away…
Will they ever know life without it…
It’s too hard for me to see
Lord take it away…their pain…

Some of the kids writings...

Struggle for Freedom
Viva Africka, Viva Freedom
These were the words our grandparents and great grandparents
Screamed as they were urgently ramping thru the streets
With iron fist and lieges of police after them like angry dogs
The day Father Mandela was released everybody was happy
Screaming freedom at last!
And it was the end of Whites killing blacks
But the start of Blacks killing Blacks
Now we are living like mice in a cage full if cats
Being killed in cold blood being scared of going out at night
Is this freedom because I am still struggling after freedom
-Sbongiseni Skeyi

My Life
The worlds up side down
I lost my mother when I was 7 yrs. Old
I thought my life was finished
I felt miserable
I felt guilty of my mother’s death
I wanted to kill myself
It was like life was going down the drain
But By God’s Wonderful Mercies
He gave me a mum, who loves me, the way I am, for who I am
God has wonderful mercies all the time
-Nosiphiwo Vonto


I am a loser
I lost my mother
I lost my father
I lost my home
I lost my family
I lost my sister
I lost my brother
I lost my friends
I think I am going to lose at school because I am a loser

My first time when I lose my mother
I lost my mother when I was born
I didn’t even see here but I know that only God nows everything
And God is my shepherd now I see the people say Life is difficult
But I say not to me life is easy because I except God.
-Ayanda Cithi

After the Poems they shares their stories, most orphaned it was hard to hear. Kid who have been raped by their fathers, losing parents and famil members, mistreated, abused and even living with HIV. But they have joy that ignites my faith. They have strength of men. They have courage and determination that I dream of. I am so inspired...I felt my river rising...from within sumthin leaped in me...

Its experiences like this that remind me of Mary greeting Martha and the babe leaping in her womb...I love having people around me that make sumthin leap in me! Make my destiny leap..the dream I have been carrying leap...the things that I know God wants to birth in me leap. I pray that I be that for someone.

River Rise! Rise!

Sunday, May 31, 2009

in my mind

I am learning to say these words...

Its too hard for me, I can't do it alone, I need help!

It seems in life sometimes we think we have to be so strong...we go through so many things and deal with so much and often we do it on our own thinking we have to handle it and carry so much weight...

stressing and trying to be strong
trying to overcome the same struggle for years
trying to love those have hurt us
trying love myself
trying to be who God has called you to be...

and we live our lives so spent on trying...

I think Jesus waits to hear us say

Its too hard for me, I can't do it alone, I need help!

He is always willing to Help or to do thru you...

This has been my prayer today...

Its too hard for me, I can't do it, I need your help! repeating it...(thinking) you said you were a present help...its too hard for me, I can't do it, I need your help!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Today

SO today I woke up to the most Beautiful African Sunrise!...
Has a meeting with Justice Acts..the group I am working with here and this is what I have learned.

There is a lot to do in South Africa. The need for Justice Workers is so heavy.

Some of the things going on here..

They are trying to dis-criminalize prostitution here...this is worse than legalizing it.

Legalizing it will allow it but in certain areas...which is just as wrong.
But dis-criminalizing it will allow it anywhere even next to churches and schools.
The thought is to sort of make pimps more business man and to have contracts with the prostitutes...wow...yes this is actually what they are saying. There is an organization called SWEAT, I think is the acronym, and they are fighting for this.

The world cup is coming up and the amount of people to be trafficked is in the thousands, as sex slaves and just workers. This is a very real issue here...kids as young as 3 are being stolen and made to have sex with men. Same for young girls and BOYS. And the government is turning their head in most cases.

I say it is time for the church to stand up and open our mouth. And even more so for men...MEN where the hell are we...

I am the only man working with our organization and it seems to be the theme for these issues. Freaking make me so angry. The men in the church world wide, we have to stand up for this issue...its like Adam and Eve when we are quiet we allow what sin to happen...so in essence we condone it.

Okay a lot more happen today and I learned a lot...I will write a newsletter or something to keep you updated so much going on...I will admit it has been really hard here but the work here is so necessary and the need for man to speak out is so important



And as always...I need money to stay here...


I need 7000 to cover all my expenses for the next 10 months July-April 2010...I can only stay until money runs out which is looking like August.
...help me if HE leads you...


Paypal :cirvant@gmail.com


or send a check to:

Kingdom Builders Intl Inc.
P.O. Box 1869
Portsmouth, OH 45662
memo: Cirvant

Friday, May 22, 2009

Mama Africa

Stepping into darkness
Led by the light she brings
Told of the horrors she’s seen
Feeling the pain it brings
Invited to come in and receive the love she holds
She extends her hands and embraces me, welcome!
Waverly Sebo…And tears fill my eyes
Waverly and I feel I haven’t done enough
She’s only eaten one meal all day
Cause while the sun is out her and her children Learn and play
Hoping that the sun will shade their hunger throughout the day
As regal as they come, my history in every inch of her being
She has given birth to what my eyes hold, and I want to hold her

Africa, Oh Mama Africa…
Can I Hold you as you embrace me
Can I live in you as you live in me…
Africa…oh Africa…oh Mama Africa



Beautiful, Beautiful I wonder if they’d fall as much as I did when I met you
Will they see the beauty in you I see...
I wonder if they’ll dream about you and realize they can’t live without you
Will their hearts beat with the vibrations of your sound…
And if you were water would they drink you down…
Can they embrace you as their past…
And feel like they know who they are now…at last
Will you help them feel again…
I wonder if pride will rise in them…
For you, are Beauty not to be compared...

Africa, Oh Mama Africa…
Can I Hold you as you embrace me
Can I live in you as you live in me…
Africa…oh Africa…oh Mama Africa

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Known

He heard the word…
“I know that it feels hard and it’s so tough now,
But if you would hold on change is coming”
And it moved him to tears
It brought a glimpse of light to what seemed deem
Someone knows, he thinks…
Cause he feels alone…

Carrying what most never understand
Words that part his lips born through pain
A view of life he cannot at time convey
It is far bigger than you, he hears God say
But he feels at times he carries it alone
Sometimes those that walk with him just don’t understand

I see God in you they say, yet so quick they run away
“I know that it feels hard…” a feeling he tries to hide
It’s hardier than you think, the call he walks alone
Cause sometimes its only God that can understand
Cause friends don’t realize that sometimes they are all he has
And their turns, and words cut deeper than they know

And he bares the reproach…
Of the dislike of strangers who can’t understand the justice in his poetry
They’d rather have service and go home feeling good
Crying silently, I only told them what I hear You say
The reproach…
Of leaving a nation he has always known
Aren’t their people you can help, here!

He heard the word…
“I know that it feels hard and it’s so tough now,
But if you would hold on change is coming”
And it waits for direction…
Realizing that the one who speaks thinks higher than man
And that sometimes it’s only Him that can hold his hand…
He thinks…You know me!

Monday, May 18, 2009

Thoughts

I have been in a different season and God has really been showing me Him
And he has been showing me..ME!

As a Father does he has been pulling me in his lap and telling me who I am..
Where I come from…my legacy as it pertains to Him…
He has been reminding me of dreams he has giving me in the past that I have let go of…
And telling me the truth to the lies I have believed…so this is my prayer today…

Daddy.
I don’t want to be in agreement with anything You didn’t speak over me
I come out of agreement with every lie…
Lies about who I am, who I am not…
Lies about my future and my destiny
I come from under every yoke you didn’t give
The word of the Lord destroys the yoke of the enemy…
I have taken the yoke that Christ gives…
I believe what You say about me…
You are a good Father…you are
I am a good son…
I believe you have better for me…

I think sometimes we carry stuff God didn’t give us.
We live our lives under yokes that don’t come from him..
Worrying about things we are suppose to trust Him in.
So afraid to live the life we want to live we settle for the life we have, because we have believed the lie about ourselves and about our potential

The beginning of last year before this weird season in my life a friend of mine told me something God told her in her rough season…He simply said…”Its better Baby!”
What He has planned is better than what we have settled for.
How often and in how many things do we settle when he has better for us…
It maybe on our job or in a relationship…
It maybe in who you are as a person…
It maybe the home you are living in, the dream that you gave up on…Believe again!

I woke up with this thought this morning…It’s a new day…
Today I believe for the better! I step from under the yokes he didn’t give
And break the agreements with the lies…I am going for the Better Baby!

Dreaming again! If God told me I believe it…
If he called me he will equip me…
It may not even look different in the natural but…something on the inside has shifted!
It’s better baby!

This America

The land of the free the home of the brave
We cry one nation under God indivisible with liberty and Justice for all!

But is the Justice for all or just the rich?
This America! Where we kill babies by the thousands with no conviction…
Children falling through the system and without regret for our lost children we still pursue the American Dream…
In this America!
Where we have become so righteous, we’re defiled…because it’s our own
Church’s whose only ministry is to themselves
Outreaches to gain more members instead of to reach out to them who are without
Feeding the poor to make ourselves feel good
Building million dollar churches by the billions
Yet! The poor stay homeless and their communities in lack
I don’t cry for this America, I cry against it…
Because in this Christian land I see no Christ…
No death to self no greater love
This America where our churches have become more business than ministry
More concerned with our prosperity than the impoverished
Our wealth has become what concerns us and not the welfare of our children

So I cry for the Nations…Cause we here in this America are too many looking out for ourselves
And we turn our eyes to African Genocides and many die because they supply no oil…
So I don’t cry for this America I cry against it…
And I cry out to the Church and I say …where are you?
Cause many are the poor,
Yes! the Poor the ones Jesus was anointed to preach to, the ones he gave most of his time too,
And we say we have the same anointing yet to them the gospel has not been preached cause they are still hungry while we lay in our warm houses which “we have sewn seed to receive” they lay in the streets
Is there any meat in the Father’s house cause his children are starving!

It’s time in this America... for the church to take her place
We are the city on the hill so it’s time to shine
We are the salt and the world needs to taste us
Forget the American Dream and Stop pursuing the Cream
Let’s lay down our lives, cause we will find that on the other side of death is life…Selah
So let’s take on the mind of Christ…
Let’s let him Guide our lives…
Let’s Pursue the Kingdom
Let justice be the pursuit for all humanity and not American Vanity!
Then they will know we are His children by the love that we show…Let this be America

Sons of Amos

Wake up Oh sleeper…
The time to rebel is here…
Get up why are you sleeping the time to fight is upon us, it is in our face!

It’s time for the Sons of Amos to arise…
Sons and daughters of the prophet arise and contend!
Contend because the word of our father holds truth…
The character and the nature of the One we serve lays sleep while our pastors preach, prosperity…Greed and deception!
Open your mouth!
Let’s wake the sleeping Giant…
Cry out from within the whore…
We will not take complacency anymore…
Cry to your pastors…the time has come to arise…

And yes they will try and silence our cry, because it calls them to act!
Remove it from OUR service…this is not why I came…yet we must still press
Sons and Daughters of Amos gird yourself with words…
Words of a Radical…
The words that revolt against everything the religious stand for…
Be equip with the words of a man some thought to be a lunatic
Let these words part your lips…
What you do to the least you have done to your Lord…
Or no greater love than to lay down your very lives for someone else
Do crazy things like…
Share you meals with the poor..
Fly to a 3rd world country… and live…
Or better yet give you tithed to the poor and oppressed

Sons and daughters of Amos its time to write…
Write your justice songs and sing them loud…
Cause He is tired of hearing our pretty songs…when our lives contradict him
But let justice run down like waters and righteousness as a mighty and ever-flowing stream, let these words part our lips!
Sons and Daughters of the prophet use your pens…
Let poems of freedom for the oppress be spat…
Let there be a real revolution…revolting against everything that’s not like Him
As a generation we stand with our fist clinched ready to pounce…the call has gone forth Fight!

Yeah we are violent ready to fight with words and actions
Because our fathers the sons of Issacar have discerned the times…
And they have spoken…the words of the Prophet…
Is not this the fast that I choose:
to loose the bonds of injustice,
to undo the thongs of the yoke,
to let the oppressed go free…

Awake oh Sleeper…the time is here!

They have spoken…
Is it not to share your bread with the hungry,
and bring the homeless poor into your house;
when you see the naked, to cover them,
and not to hide yourself from your own kin?

Get up why are you sleeping the time to fight is upon us, it is in our face!


Let’s fight…
For our sisters being trafficked to please the sexual needs of perverted men
Yes even on your precious American soil,
Our daughters are rapped and made to play the whore
We don’t hear this in out Sunday morning meeting
Let’s contend…
For the oppressed children in Burma made to fight in wars barley able to carry a gun…
For our children in ghettoes..
The poor in Africa…
Let’s fight..
For the oppressed Hispanic in America…
The families who rummage through dump sites in the Philippines
For those who have no voice, lets speak for them

It’s time to rebel…
Yes as offensive as it seems
Sons of Micah let his words not slip from your lips…Let’s do Justice
Sons of Hosea arise and cry…there is a vulture over the house of God…she sleeps
Cry out with your father! His people parish cause they do not know Him!
It’s time for the Sons to take their place…

Wake up oh Sleeper…wake up
The time to rebel is here…
Get up why are you sleeping the time to fight is upon us, it is in our face!


wake up!